Gay Marriage: Economic Stimulus in Disguise

Now don’t get me wrong. Roman is all for Marriage Equality. We are all happy about the Gay Marriage law. (Albeit as one who does not “believe” in marriage, it is a non-issue to me.) Still I say let anybody marry whom they please. Besides the government likes you to be married. The church does too—for those of you who believe in church and god and other ghosts. What the powers really want is that you are under some jurisdiction, though they pretend it is your dignity they desire. Just remember your dignity is tied to the market. My point being that despite its being the moral high road, Gay Marriage is Good Business, and that is the primary reason our politicians have got behind it.

Like those religious people, The Promise Keepers, whom we see in large stadiums across the country, waving their arms in the air for Jesus, Andrew Cuomo is now a “promise keeper,” as gays granted “the Guv” near religious status. We all saw him marching in the Pride Parade, certain that he has stimulated, along with an increased voter constituency, his state’s economy. Even as our upstate districts suffer increasing unemployment and the state as a whole moves violently into the red, Cuomo seems to have found one small bead of economic light in the darkness. He has spotted a need, and upon it he has fed.

And flashing back to the Pride Parade, who can forget the meglomaniacal Mayor Bloomberg horning in on the front line, trying to soak up some adulation in his hour of his sinking popularity. The Mayor loves the gays, he loves their cash, and in fact this law passed partly because Bloomberg gave huge donations to republicans to get them to support the bill, while threatening other republicans with financial punishment if they did not vote yes on the issue. And Bloomy (that dictionary definition of self-love) doesn’t do anything that doesn’t benefit his own pocketbook. Indeed, we know Herr Mayor has no gripes with sodomy, as he has been sodomizing the residents of New York for nearly a decade, making money off their misery. New Yorkers apparently like this: they like to be fucked by big money. But then New Yorkers aren’t the brightest bunch anyway—throw a celebrity in front of them and they start drooling while fondling their credit cards for more.

Credit Cards indeed!  After the announcement of the law the first thing you heard about was all the fancy weddings being planned. And nothing spells excessive consumption like a wedding, especially a gay wedding. Think of the catering, the costumes, the locales. People will flock to New York for the events. In fact, businesses located elsewhere are already moving here to service this new monster cash flow—the Gay Wedding Industry.   Straight people weren’t keeping the marriage thing going and that hurts home buying and home building and that hurts the economy. (Although on NPR of late I heard that Gen X is very pro-marriage, they are making it work. Good for them!) Still, we need more marriages to sell those homes and condos.

The newly joyous Gay population, happy to be able to tie the knot to a conservative world, is oblivious to their true status as income generation device. But the State knows.  It’s like that gambling fad, once States see the money it brings in, they all want to jump on the band wagon. Vice is good!  At some point the moral compass of all politicians always shifts towards the profit margin. Come on LeBron, play in our state. Come on gays— marry in our state. But it will be too late for you other states because, New York will have corralled the cash.

Indeed, New York has opened a fount of gold, at least for the next few months or so.  This Sunday alone, a day that municipal offices are normally closed, the city plans to service some 700 gay weddings. It’s a bonanza. They can’t even keep up with the business. America is great!  Ka-Ching!!!

Please note: your taxes are not going to go down, your services will continue to decline, your education system will continue to adopt short cuts. One wonders whose coffers these bonanzas feed. I’ll tell you who—check out who the Bloomberg business companies are buying stock in — I’ll bet it’s in the wedding industry.

The next big income generating device will be, naturally, Same Sex Divorce. Indeed, lawyers everywhere are licking their lips.

I am Roman Stoad, advocate for companionship,

wishing all you newly weds the very best .

Bon chance!

And please, do not hold my cynicism against me.

I answer to a lower power.